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SEQs and the City: Attachment Styles of the SATC Women - Miranda & Samantha

When I was thinking about the attachment styles of all the characters, I could see the similarities between Miranda and Samantha so I’m bringing them both together into one as it would essentially be the same newsletter twice but with different names. Whilst it doesn’t take Hercule Poirot to deduce that Samantha avoids loving, emotional relationships like a teenager running from responsibility, reaching that conclusion about Miranda wasn’t as obvious.


Whilst Miranda isn’t fuelled by the same over-sexualised, emotional immaturity that Sam uses to cover up her fear of love, both ladies have very similar stories of meeting one secure man who somehow manages to chisel away at the brick walls they appear to have carefully erected over the years.




Throughout the series Miranda dates a lot of men and sleeps with a lot of them too before she has an emotional connection, but it isn’t until she meets Steve that we see her avoidant style creep onto the screen. Is it avoidant or is it just that she wasn’t interested in him? Well, I don’t think so. Steve calls her out on her behaviour in the restaurant when Carrie has arranged for Big to meet her and the girls. Miranda is nasty to Steve, downright rude actually. Is it because she really doesn’t like him or she is fighting against how she feels? When Big arrives, it gives her a bit of faith that not all men are pond weed and she runs after Steve and takes a chance on him.

But that’s not where that story ends as we know. When Steve wants to move in to Miranda’s apartment, she is resistant to the idea. We later find out that she is afraid, afraid he will see her flaws and all the reasons why he might not like her. And we see one reason why she might well have been avoiding a serious relationship.


Samantha on the other hand isn’t so difficult to figure out. It’s obvious she has an avoidant attachment style. She has no interest in emotional attachment, because she is not emotionally attached to herself. Even when her relationship with Smith begins to unfold she chooses to connect with him on a business level, helping him to become “a star” by being his PR agent. As I’ve spoken about before, it’s only when she hits rock bottom, and has a sobering encounter with her ex Richard that she realises what she has with Smith.


It would be interesting to know what her childhood was like, who her father was, how her mother treated her. They most definitely would not have been emotion coaching parents.


That’s it from me this week, a short and sweet one!


Have a great week.


To peace and prosperity,


jaxx x

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